Everybody Loves Raven
by Magic Kaito
Summary: They all had that special person on their minds. Sadly, it was the same one. Spoof on all of the xRaven pairings.


Everybody Loves Raven

AN: I don't know what possessed me to write this, but I did! I just thought about the huge variety of Raven couplings and poof! There it was! I'd like you all to realize that this is just for fun, and by no means am I trying to support all of the couples I mention. To tell you the truth, I actually have problems picturing Raven with anyone. Of the three you always see, I guess I'm closest to supporting Cyborg just because there's no one that I prefer him being with (yes, I'm a BBxTerra-shipper. He's actually the last person I could see Raven with. Any problems with that may be addressed to me directly, not in reviews, please!). But I'm forgetting my usual tastes for this. Again, I want you to laugh. I'm not being serious at all! And I don't own Teen Titans.

* * *

Beast Boy awoke that morning with one thing on his mind: her. For months he had been trying to catch her attention, hoping to see her at least crack a grin at his jokes. He was beginning to feel as though he was finally getting through to her. Today was the day that she would become his.

* * *

Robin awoke that morning with one thing on his mind: her. The had been on the team together for a while now. She was smart, powerful, and inside he knew that she was really a good person. What wasn't there to like? And what, he thought, wasn't there for her to like about him? Today was the day that she would become his.

* * *

Cyborg awoke that morning with one thing on his mind: her. Sure, there were times when the didn't get along, but there were plenty of times when they did. There were tons of things that the two of them had in common, and he knew that she had to see that, too. Today was the day that she would become his.

* * *

Starfire awoke that morning with one thing on her mind: her. Being the only two females on the team, she knew they had a special connection. And back on Tamaran, it was highly common for two women to be in a relationship. Today was the day that she would become hers.

* * *

Beast Boy walked briskly into the main room of the tower. He was smiling very energetically, and looked around. His smile seemed to drop a bit when he only saw Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg, but he continued in and sat down on the couch.

A strange silence followed. For some reason, none of them were really doing anything. Their eyes wandered back and forth, occasionally staring at one of the other immobile Titans, but other than that, nothing went on. Minutes went by, and the four of them were starting to look really uncomfortable.

"So," Robin finally said with a weak smile on his face, "what's up?"

"Nothing," Beast Boy muttered.

"Not much," Cyborg said at almost the same instant.

"The roof is up," Starfire commented, getting a few nervous looks.

Just then, they heard the sound of the door opening. All four of them leapt up from where they sat and turned to look.

Raven walked in slowly with her usual lack of expression, and made her way over to the kitchen. "Do we have any tea?" she asked, opening a cupboard.

"I'll make you some!" Beast Boy exclaimed, starting to rush over.

"No, no, allow me," Robin said, trying to push his way in front of Beast Boy.

"I can do it!" Cyborg replied, starting to get in a shoving war with the other two.

"Perhaps I can be of assistance!" Starfire said, trying to squeeze her way through the fighting boys.

Finally, a lot of incoherent yelling joined their pushing match. Raven stared at them for a few moments. "Okay..." she mumbled, pulling out the box. "Why don't I just do it?"

"All right!" the others replied happily, stopping their fight and smiling at her.

Raven set the tea down, giving them all a wary look. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" they all said at once, still smiling.

"Okay..." she said, turning slowly back to the tea. "You can... sit down now."

They immediately returned to the couch, trying to seem busy, but closely watch her out of the corners of their eyes. After a few minutes her drink was ready, and she picked up the steaming cup and started walking away from them. The four of them turned to look at her in worry. Where was she going? Was this going to be their only chance? They leapt up and sprinted to beat her to the door.

Raven stopped in her tracks as the other members of the team appeared in front of her. "Is something the matter?" she asked, her eyebrows lowered.

"Everything is wonderful!" Starfire chimed.

"Yeah, I'm great!" Beast Boy quickly added.

"Me too," Cyborg said.

Robin just stood there and smiled.

"...Right," Raven said, still giving them an odd look. "So... Why don't you let me through?"

The four of them mentally choked. "Oh no! I have to act fast. Otherwise I might lose my chance!"

There was an awkward silence as she stared at the four who were obviously deep in panicked thought. "Uh... Hello?"

"Hi!" Beast Boy involuntarily exclaimed, and, realizing that he had broken the silence, decided that it was time for him to give it a go. "So, Raven," he started, trying to think of the best phrasing, "what are you doing... today?" Erg! He was so stupid! His chance was right there and he knew he had just blown it!

The other three Titans started to look very nervous. No. He wasn't. ...Was he?

Robin was the first to get the nerves to retaliate against his new adversary. "Well, Beast Boy, she actually may have plans after I ask her to..."

"Whoa!" Cyborg interrupted, starting to realize that this would become a battle between the three of them. "I've had somethin' that I've been wanting to say to Rae for a long time, now, so why don't y'all be quiet and let me get in what I need to say."

"But I also would like to inquire something of her," Starfire said quietly.

It was at this moment that they all realized what was going on. Great. Just great. What were the odds that every other member of the team was going to see something in Raven that would make them fall in love? I mean, really. The irony was just too much.

"Why don't you stop interrupting each other and just let me know what you want to say?" Raven said, still seeming worried about all of them.

"Yeah!" Beast Boy said, glaring at the other three. "Besides, I asked her a question first, so let her answer it!"

"Well, maybe she doesn't wanna answer it," Cyborg replied, glaring back at him.

"And why wouldn't she?"

"Well, it probably doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you're a short, green, little twirp who isn't funny at all!"

"Hey, you take that back! I am not short!"

"Look, Raven," Robin suddenly said, trying to take advantage of his friend's bickering, "do you wanna do something..."

"Watch it, bird boy!" Cyborg exclaimed, apparently still listening to the others. "You're in this just as much as he is!"

"Well, if you two wouldn't fight all the time, maybe she'd give you some consideration! As it stands..."

"What do you mean by that?" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Come, friend Raven," Starfire said, trying her best to keep the boys from hearing her, "let us go somewhere else and talk. I believe we have much to discuss."

"Don't even think about it, Star," Robin said, although he still glared at Cyborg and Beast Boy. "We have to figure this thing out."

"I all ready asked her," Beast Boy said, frowning. "You snooze, you loose."

"This coming from someone who can't get out of bed until after 11," Robin commented.

"Hey, you two all ready seemed like you liked other people," Cyborg added. "Why would she even bother with you?"

"Friends, why must we argue?" Starfire asked. "Perhaps we can all share?"

They stared at her nervously. "No!"

"I'm her polar opposite, so I should win!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Well, I have the most in common with her!" Robin retorted.

"I don't have anyone else I could logically be with," Cyborg responded.

"I am the one that makes the least amount of sense," Starfire protested.

"**_Quiet!_**" Raven finally screamed, unable to take their bickering anymore. "Look, I appreciate all of your, um... concern, but..."

They stared at her. But? What did she mean by "But?"

"...I'm all ready seeing someone."

Their faces dropped a mile. What? How could this be?

"Y-you are?" Robin choked out, looking as shocked and depressed as the others.

"Yeah," she replied, as a ring came over the security system. "And here he is now." She went over to the computer to open the main door.

The others didn't move and watched as Raven quickly drained her tea, set the cup down, and worked her way around them to open the door as it knocked. They looked at the figure on the other side of the door, and their mouths fell open in shock.

"B-but..." they each began, looking back and forth between Raven and her significant other.

"Sorry, but I don't have time to talk about it right now," she said, grabbing his hand. "Come on, Larry, let's go."

"YAY!" the small interdimensional being exclaimed as they walked off, the door closing behind them.

The other four Titans kept staring. "You know," Beast Boy finally began slowly, "that was all your fault, Robin!"

"What? Why me, mister 'I'm gonna make everybody think I'm in love with a dead girl?'"

"That little twerp came from your head, 'I'm acting like I'm obsessed with Starfire' boy!"

"It had to be one of the others that drove her away, not me!" Robin growled.

"Hey, at least I never showed any attraction to anyone else!" Cyborg exclaimed.

"I do not understand," Starfire said softly.

"Come on," Cyborg continued, "you three totally act like you were after other people!"

"I did no such thing!" Beast Boy retorted.

"Yeah, and you liked Jynx, stupid!" Robin added.

"No I didn't!" Cyborg replied.

"I do not even know what I did," Starfire said, still looking confused.

And so, they continued fighting amongst themselves.

* * *

AN: Yeah, there you go. My take-off on the fifty bagillion Raven couplings. Although, I thought my Starfire thing was original, and then I just saw one today and I was like "NO!" I was very close to adding Aqualad, Terra, and even Slade into this, but I thought better of it. I also know the ending was really weird, but I didn't want to make it too long and fighting just gets so old after a while. But, yeah. The weirdest thing I've ever written! 


End file.
